Free resource · families

THEY’RE FINE AT SCHOOL.
SO WHY IS HOME SO HARD?

Two adults can be telling the truth about the same child. The next step is to compare observations, not choose a winner.

There is no single response that fits every child. Adoption and care experience may be relevant to a child’s needs, but should not become an assumption about their behaviour or identity.

Different places. Different demands.

A child may hold things together during the school day and show distress when they reach home. They may also struggle at school in ways that are not visible to their family. Neither account cancels the other out.

School routines, sensory demands, relationships, uncertainty and fatigue can all matter. It is useful to notice what happens before, during and after a difficult moment rather than attaching a label too quickly.

Instead of “Which adult is right?”Try: “What is each of us seeing, when does it happen, and what can we test together?”

Turn concern into an observable question

  • Describe one moment, not a whole week of difficulty.
  • Notice what happened just before and how long recovery took.
  • Ask what school sees around the same time or transition.
  • Agree one small change and a date to compare notes.

Use the two-worlds tool

Keep identifying information out of shared devices. You can generate a note locally in this browser; it is not submitted to Braythorpe.

Two-worlds observation planner

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What happens next?

Share the relevant observations or plan with the people who can act on it. Agree a small change, a named person and a review date. If you need help navigating the school conversation, Braythorpe offers support for families and schools.

General educational information only. It is not a diagnosis, legal advice, therapy or a substitute for a child’s assessed provision. Where safety is at risk, follow safeguarding procedures.